


Shut Up and Kiss Me

by greentree99



Category: Cowboy Bebop, Fairy Tail, Riverdale (TV 2017), Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crossover, Feelings, Gay, Homosexuality, Hot, Imagination, M/M, Pride, Sexy, Vape, Yaoi, relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2019-09-29 12:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17203133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greentree99/pseuds/greentree99
Summary: Mario and Spike Spiegel from the acclaimed series Cowboy Bepop (1998) learn to love each other and themselves in this thrilling novel.





	1. The Start of Something New

Spike groaned with disgust. His shower was malfunctioning and was leaking suspicious yellow liquids.

"JET" He called.

Jet Black, his trusty sidekick and beloved best friend, entered the establishment.

"Check out the shower, it's malfunctioning and leaking suspicious yellow liquids."

Jet Black said "Hmm" quietly. "Hmm, thats true."

Jet Black left the establishment. Spike Spiegel wondered why he even told him about his predicament. Jet's disregard for Spike's internal emotional turmoil didn't help Spike feel any less lonely than he was already feeling. Spike felt cold and isolated. If only there was someone to fill this void?

Butt-ass naked, Spike walked out of the bathroom, lay down on his bed in fetal position and cried.

Then, suddenly, Spike was hit with a glorious idea. What if he were to employ a plumber? A plumber could not only stop the shower from malfunctioning and leaking suspicious yellow liquids, but could even possibly provide a sense of comfort in this trying time. He could be someone to help Spike feel a little less lonely.

Spike googled "plumber" on his iPhone 4. About 805,000,000 results appeared in 0.45 seconds. "Tch", Spike muttered. _I don't know what I expected._ Spike decided to refine his google search by typing "plumber from italy" (which where he currently was, on holiday with his man friend Jet Black).

Then, he saw it. The first result of his search. The most beautiful man he had ever seen. 

His name was Mario.

With frenzied speed, Spike dialled the plumber's number. Moving past his initial slight disappointment that he was talking to his secretary instead of the man himself, Spike wasted no time, and insisted Mario come fix his shower immediately. 

Now all he could do is wait. 


	2. The Waiting Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike yearns for Mario's cock but Natsu isn't having It

Spike lay on his bed, still naked, and waited. It had been hours since he called the plumber, and yet no hot, beefy, mustached Italian had arrived. In his wait, Spike had experienced all of the relevant emotions (fear, hurt, horniness) in spades. 

With a sigh, Spike put aside his insecurity about seeming desperate and called again. The secutory answered again. 

"Hey its me Nastu!!!!!!! Im NATSU from the fairytale guild!! Mario's secutory! Its a side gig!!!!!! What do you want?!?" 

"Hey Natsu its me Spike..."

"YOU AGAIN?!?!? LOL! Sorry to break it to you loser but hes still at his driving competition!"

He races? Spike thought and felt his libido clench with excitement. 

"Okay thanks again, Natsu. Be sure to text me when hes on his way, you bastard."

"WE ARENT ON NAME CALLING BASIS U LIL SHIT LOL!!! BYE! FIRE DRAGON ROAR!!!!!"

Spike called again and again that day, with Natsu providing the wildest of excuses as the day went on. Hes competing in a tennis tournament! He's fighting that mayor Isabelle right now!! Hes saving a princess from an unwanted marriage!! Ridiculous...But Spike couldnt fault the man for having numerous jobs. He knew how it felt to have empty pockets and a even emptier stomach.

Spike just wished he could let it go. What was it about this man that kept him calling? He sighed, and held his phone close to his chest. Slept came quickly, and all he could dream about was twinkling eyes and swirling mustaches.

Then a single knock at the door interrupted Spaiku's dreamful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written by mod Yaoi Lover :)


	3. The Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uuuuuu

Spike screamed loudly and stood up!

Who was knocking?

Was it a bird?

Was it Mario?

Tenderly and afraid, Spike eased the door open and it was fucking Mario.

"AAAAUAUUUAAGHHH" Spike screamed.

"Uhhh... itsa me?" Mario said.

Spikes internal monologue went like this:  _Shit! Fuck! Itsa Mario! I've been waiting so long for this 3 foot tall dreamboat of a plumber to arrive. What do i do? Bitch? Auhh? Fuck_

But he was able to remain cool and casual when he greeted Mario.

"Hello! I'm Spike Spiegel. I'm a bounty hunter, I travel through space looking for criminals to catch to pay the bills with my trusty side kick and best friend, Jet Black. I hate dogs, women and children. Care to sit down for some wine and cheese :-)?"

Mario hesitated.

"Thatsa cool and all... But I heard you wanted me to fix your shower?" 

Spike sweated. "YUP!"

He led Mario sweatily yet tantalisingly to the shower. He tried to make small talk on the way.

"So your secretary Natsu tells me you're a busy man! Heard you were fighting princesses and saving animal mayors and what not- Uh, I mean, saving princesses and fighting animal mayors. Haha whoopsies."

Spike silently cursed himself under his breath for being so bad at talking to hot guys. But little did he know, Mario had a thing for silly awkward men. Mario blushed and looked away shyly.

"Yeah haha, itsa living! My gay son, Jughead Jonesa, thinks im crazy, but-"

"W-wait, you have a son?"

"Yes."

Spike thought to himself. _Hmmmmm..._ He didn't see this coming. He'd heard of Jughead Jones. He sounded pretty dangerous. But he was prepared to date Mario no matter what, even if Mario had a son who was the leader of a gang. 

The shower arrived. It was still leaking with  yellow liquids.

"Mamma mia! You've got a situation on youre hands!"

Mario bent down to grab his spanner, revealing his massive round ass.

To be continued


	4. A Brinner for Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hope u like thiz one guys!!

Jughead stared intensely at the soup aisle. He scratched the top of his head (covered in a beanie BTW). This was, hands down, the single most difficult hard decision hes made in years. 

French Onion or Chicken Noodle...He could imagine the taste sensation either could bring so clearly, and yet he couldnt decide what vibe he wanted for tonight. Archies coming over and he knew his boy loved that Chicken Noodle, but hes a bit sick of Chicken Noodle (with all the noodle taken out. archie is boring). For crying out loud! Jughead was supposed to be the leader of a gang. He couldnt live his life ruled by his boyfriend! Reaching for the can of French Onion, Jughead felt sweat blossom on his forehead. This was too much. He had to call the one man who could help; his very own Papa.

Beep beep boop boop beep beep boop

Ring ring....

Ring ring....

Ring ring...

https://youtu.be/lUjDIKtkbEw (for full immersion) 

"Here we go-ohhh!!!"

"Dad..Its me Jugead.."

"Jughead Jonesa!!! My boy! What is up my sweet child-a!!" 

"Dad....I dont want Archie to break up with me..."

"My son-a!! What do you mean-a!! Archie loves you!!"

"French Onion....or Chicken Noodle,,,Chicken Noodle every single day, such. is the state of a man as simple as Archie Andrews. But what riverdale is yet to realise, is that sometimes..you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette. Sometimes, that omelette is Archie. And riverdale? why its the pan."

Mario nods, seemingly completely understanding the predicament Jughead is in. Little did Jughead and the audience know, Mario never understood a single thing that came out of Jugheads lips. 

"...im romeo, archie is juilet. and this love may end in tragedy. Two households, both alike in dignity, In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean..."

Mario had completely lost all hope of paying attention. Spike was posily sexily next to shower, and yellow shit was leaking slightly on his hair. God he is so fucking stupid. Mario couldnt help his eyes, trained as they were on the tantalising boy.

"...From forth the fatal loins of these two foes A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life; Whole misadventured piteous overthrows Do with their death bury their parents' strife..."

Mario snapped out of it. Wait..did Jughead just say..death? My boy!!!!!!!! (imagine him saying this in a french accent...)

He had to go! He had to stop Jughead! It had been 12 years since he had stepped foot in that dreadful town, but he had to save his son. Like the plumber he was, saving princesses all day. This time, he had to save the self-proclaimed king of riverdale, or at least thats what he thinks the crown means.

Taking his eye off spke, Mario clumsily collected his tools, and hoped his special tool wasnt as upright as it was when he first saw Spike. 

Spike says: hh! wait!!!  
He reaches out, aided by his 8 feet tall physique, and slams the door shut. Sexily, of course. 

Mario says: What are you doing! Please, I need to save my son.   
He spins around, stunned by the sudden intimacy. He hadnt realised how tall Spike was. He quivers.

Spike exclaims: Il come with you! Please,,I lo-

But before he could utter those 3 special words, Mario cut him off with a kiss.

"Mamma mia!! Thats a spicy chorizo!!"

To be Continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaoi lover and guest sasu-kissme wrote this one :)

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed that subrscribe 4 more plz


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